Relationships and Sex for… (Wednesday, December 7th, 2005)

Published by Ian in CHAPS, Other HIV, Other THT at 10:48 pm. Skip down to comments or read the others.

There are three in the series, produced by the then 'Living well with HIV team', and not all of these are part of the CHAPS partnership.

But see what they are:

Relationships and Sex for Gay Men – perhaps surprisingly, the first edition of this did have "to have children" as one of the reasons why "some people with HIV say they either have sex or want to have sex?" for readers to say they share or really disagree with… and "to avoid having a child" as a possible answer to "why would a person with HIV want to have safer sex?"

The text is definitely aimed at gay men though – I can find lots of "other gay men" and "you're not the only gay man who.." and no use of the word "bisexual".

(I can't find this one on the current website.)

Relationships and Sex for Straight Men – now in its third edition. It doesn't mention having sex with other men, yet we know that's crap. My favourite spotted personal ad: "straight man seeks other straight men to have sex with" (ITV Teletext!)

So it's "when we talk about sex between men and women…" – and it doesn't talk about any other sort, remember – and "if a woman without HIV sucks your cock", rather than "if someone".

Surprisingly, while "to have children" is listed here too as one of the reasons why "other men with HIV say they either have sex or want to have sex?", there's no mention of "to avoid having a child" as a possible answer to "why do other HIV men want to have safer sex?" (Another missing option is "to keep the sheets clean"!)

In its second and third editions at least, this is a shorter booklet than the ".. for gay men" one: 20 pages vs 28.

You'll find it here.

(Note different naming style of the actual file compared to the CHAPS ones.)


Relationships and Sex for Women – despite not having a sexual orientation in the title, it still also only explicitly mentions "When we talk about sex between men and women…".

You're presumably supposed to guess that, immediately after talking about "as a woman with HIV you perform oral sex on a man", that the "someone" who "performs oral sex on you" might be a woman.

It does mention "I like them to use condoms, then I don't have to worry about contraception" as a reason for other HIV positive women to say they want to have safer sex in its 20 pages.

Here for this one.

Note the missing title!

So which does THT think is true:

  • That bisexual men don't get HIV?
  • That bisexual men with HIV don't have relationships and sex?
  • That bisexual men with HIV's relationships and sex aren't worth mentioning?

Given that gay-identified men's relationships and sex with women – which, again, Sigma has been saying for years happens in larger numbers than some of the behaviours THT is prepared to talk about – is consistently ignored, I wonder.

Leave a Reply